School Anxiety & Refusal Support in Coquitlam
Is the morning routine at your house a daily battleground? You might be facing "Sunday Scaries" that start on Friday night, physical symptoms like stomach aches and headaches, or a child who simply cannot get out of the car at the school gates. At Strong River Counselling, we specialize in helping children and families navigate the complexities of school anxiety and school refusal.
We provide a bridge between home and the classroom, helping students in Coquitlam, Port Moody, and Port Coquitlam find their way back to learning with confidence.
Symptoms of School Avoidance: What Parents Notice
School refusal is rarely about "naughtiness." It is almost always a sign that a child’s nervous system is overwhelmed by the demands of the school environment. You might be seeing:
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The "Morning Struggle": Intense crying, clinging, or hiding when it is time to get ready for school.
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Somatic Complaints: Frequent reports of feeling sick, dizzy, or tired—symptoms that mysteriously disappear on weekends or holidays.
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High Emotionality: Increased irritability, meltdowns, or "shutting down" as the school week approaches.
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Social Withdrawal: Avoiding friends, extracurriculars, or talk of school events.
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Extreme Distress at Drop-off: A child who was "okay" at home but becomes inconsolable once they reach the school property.
Why School Refusal Happens
At our Coquitlam clinic, we look at the "why" behind the "won't." School refusal is often a combination of factors that create a "perfect storm" for a child.
Anxiety, Sensory Overload, and Transitions
For many students in SD43, the school day is a sensory minefield. Loud hallways, social pressures, and academic expectations can trigger a "fight-flight-freeze" response. When a child’s brain perceives the school as "unsafe," their natural instinct is to stay close to their secure base—you. We help identify whether the root is Separation Anxiety, social fears, or Neuro-divergent sensory needs.
How to Help a Child Who Refuses School
The goal is to lower the "emotional stakes" of the morning while maintaining a connection.
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Acknowledge the Difficulty: Instead of "You have to go," try: "I see how hard your brain is working to be brave today. I am here to help you."
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Keep "School Hours" Boring: If your child stays home, it shouldn't be a "screen time" day. Maintain a neutral environment to reduce the "pull" of staying home.
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Collaborate with the School: We work with Coquitlam parents to develop "Soft Landing" plans with teachers and counselors to make the transition into the building feel safer.
Our Approach: A Bridge Back to the Classroom
We use a multi-layered approach to help your child overcome school-based anxiety.
Play Therapy & Child-Friendly CBT
We use Play Therapy to help younger children "play out" school scenarios and build mastery. For older students, we integrate CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy) to help them identify "bossy thoughts" and practice regulation tools they can use right at their desk.
Parent Advocacy & Support
You are your child's best advocate. We provide Parent Support to help you navigate school meetings and advocate for your child’s mental health needs within the school system.
Meet Destinee Kreil, RCC
Destinee Kreil has extensive experience working with families in the Tri-Cities navigating the SD43 school system. She understands the specific pressures local students face and provides a compassionate, evidence-based roadmap to help your child return to the classroom with a sense of agency.
FAQ: School Anxiety in the Tri-Cities
